Over the years, I’ve coached men from all kinds of backgrounds—students, shy office workers, travelers, even CEOs, doctors, and executives at global companies.
From the outside, these men seemed to have everything: intelligence, professional success, and social status. By most standards, they were already the kind of men others look up to.
And in many ways, they were easier to teach. They had discipline, they were persistent, and they understood logical cause and effect. But with those strengths came one very common weakness.
The Trap of Overthinking
Many high achievers are so used to analyzing problems that they overanalyze themselves right out of action.
They anticipate failure before they even try.
“If I do this, it might fail for reasons X, Y, and Z. So I’d better not try at all.”
I’ve met men who could come up with endless, logical-sounding excuses for why they couldn’t approach a woman. Honestly, some of their reasoning was impressive—creative, even. But instead of using that brainpower to take action, they used it to justify inaction.
It reminded me of something I once heard about corporate offices: many employees are incredibly creative at explaining why a project can’t be done. The same energy that could solve problems gets wasted on excuses.
Why Excuses Lead Nowhere
No matter how smart an excuse sounds, it produces nothing.
Attraction isn’t built in theory. It’s built through real interactions. If you sit around explaining why you can’t, you’ll never move forward.
Instead of asking, “Why can’t I?” you should be asking, “How can I make this work?”
Stop looking for reasons you can’t. Start searching for reasons you can.
Why Logic Fails in Social Situations
Overthinking assumes you can predict outcomes. But when it comes to people, you can’t.
Human beings aren’t formulas. Even psychologists can’t predict every response in a social situation. And women—especially attractive women with very different life experiences—are even less predictable.
I’ve lost count of the times I thought, “She’ll never be interested,” only to be surprised when the woman responded warmly. And I’ve had the opposite happen too: someone I was sure would be open turned me down flat.
The lesson? You don’t know until you try.
Why We Default to Excuses
Excuses are easy because they’re built into our survival wiring. For our ancestors, avoiding risk meant avoiding danger. Our brains are still tuned to spot threats more than opportunities.
That instinct protected us in the past, but today it often holds us back. If you want to grow, you have to override it.
The Power of Meta-Cognition
One way to override excuses is through meta-cognition—the ability to step outside yourself and observe your thoughts.
For example:
- You think, “This will never work.” Then you catch yourself and say, “Wait, I’m being negative. That thought isn’t useful.”
- You notice, “Right now, I’m not taking actions that bring me closer to my goal.” Then you adjust.
Meta-cognition is like becoming your own coach. You stop reacting automatically and start guiding yourself with awareness.
How do you build it? By reflecting honestly. Look at past failures and ask:
“What could I have done differently?”
“What will I try next time?”
Over time, this practice makes you more self-aware and less controlled by fear.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, here’s the truth:
- Excuses don’t create results.
- Time spent on “why I can’t” is wasted.
- Time spent on “how I can” is invested.
- The only way forward is to take action, approach, and learn from experience.
The men who succeed in attraction are not necessarily the smartest or most logical. They’re the ones who stop asking, “Why not me?” and start asking, “Why not now?”
If this message resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about building confidence and approaching women naturally, I share step-by-step lessons inside my free newsletter, The Global Attraction Blueprint. You can join here: The Global Attraction Blueprint.
