The day after I got my first phone number from a woman on the street, I went back to Tokyo’s busy downtown, ready to keep going. I walked for two hours, approached another stylish woman, and—surprisingly—got her number too.
Later, I found out she had given it to me for business reasons. She was trying to recruit people for a network marketing company. I didn’t realize it at the time, so I celebrated it as another success. But still, two numbers in two days gave me a huge boost of confidence.
Yet deep down, I knew I was still hesitating. I spent hours walking around, overthinking, and missing opportunities. I’d approach a few people, but the real challenge wasn’t external—it was internal. It was about learning to take action even when fear didn’t go away.
The Power of Consistency
Despite my hesitation, I kept showing up. Every day, I faced the same anxiety, but each time I learned something new. I began noticing patterns: how people reacted to my energy, how timing mattered, and how genuine curiosity made conversations flow more easily.
Slowly, my nerves became manageable. I started to feel in control.
Around that time, I also met a few other guys with similar goals. We’d meet up in different areas of Tokyo—cafés, nightlife spots, bars—pushing each other to keep improving. We’d share what worked, laugh about our failures, and celebrate small wins.
One night, before going to a club, I met a friendly woman at a small bar. We talked for a while, met again a few times, and eventually started dating. She was confident, easygoing, and had a great sense of humor.
That experience taught me something simple but powerful: if you keep going—if you just keep showing up—you always gain something, even if it’s not what you expect.
When Success Becomes Complacency
At first, my goal was simple: to meet women I’d never meet through work or social circles. After a few months, I achieved that. I had a girlfriend, and my confidence was growing. But once I “succeeded,” my motivation faded. I stopped practicing, stopped learning, and focused on my job again.
A few months later, she broke up with me.
The reason? I had become too dependent, too focused on her, and stopped improving myself. It was painful—but also a wake-up call. I realized I had built confidence not just from results, but from the process of growth itself.
When I lost that momentum, I lost part of myself.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
What helped me recover was remembering that I still had a skill. Even after rejection, I could always go out, meet new people, and start fresh. That realization gave me resilience.
I made a promise to myself: “Next time, I’ll be stronger—and I’ll meet someone even more amazing.”
So I decided to take things seriously. I invested in a one-year communication course that cost about $3,000. Some people thought I was crazy. But to me, it wasn’t a gamble—it was a lifetime investment in social skills and personal growth.
After all, people spend just as much on dating apps, fancy dinners, or nights out that lead nowhere. I wanted to invest in something that would keep paying off for the rest of my life.
From that day on, I went all-in—approaching, practicing, learning, and improving.
That decision didn’t just change my path. It gave me direction.
If this story inspired you and you’d like to learn how to build the same kind of confidence and connection in your own life, I share practical lessons and real experiences in my free newsletter, The Global Attraction Blueprint. You can join here: The Global Attraction Blueprint.
