Most people misunderstand failure. They see it as a label—proof they’re not good enough, not talented enough, or not ready. They treat failure as a stop sign, when in reality, it’s the very path to success.
Think about how you learned the most basic skills in life. You learned to walk by falling. You learned to ride a bike by tipping over and scraping your knees. You learned to speak your first language by babbling nonsense. Nobody masters anything without failing first.
Michael Jordan’s Secret
Michael Jordan, often called the greatest basketball player of all time, is remembered for his championships and highlight reels. But do you know how often he failed?
He once said:
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot—and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
That’s the paradox: the greatest player in history wasn’t great because he avoided failure. He was great because he failed more times than most people even tried. Each miss gave him feedback. Each mistake pushed him to adjust. And over time, success became inevitable.
Why Failure Fuels Growth
The men who succeed in dating, business, or sports aren’t the ones who never fail. They’re the ones who are willing to fail more often—and faster.
They execute, fail, adjust, and try again. Their cycle of trial, error, and improvement is simply faster than everyone else’s.
That’s why, when I coach men in attraction, I don’t just celebrate when they finally get a date. I celebrate when they take risks—when they approach, when they say hello, when they put themselves in the game. Because each “failure” is actually another rep in the gym of life.
The Only True Failure
Let’s talk about women for a moment.
Most men freeze when they see someone they find attractive. They tell themselves, “If I fail, I’ll embarrass myself.” So they don’t act at all.
But here’s the truth: by doing nothing, they guarantee failure.
Not saying hello.
Not walking up.
Not taking the shot.
That’s the real failure—because when you don’t act, you gain nothing and stay stuck.
Compare that to the man who approaches and gets ignored. What did he lose? Nothing. But what did he gain? Experience. Feedback. The chance to reflect and adjust. Every rejection is just another missed shot—and enough missed shots eventually lead to mastery.
My Own Failures
When I first started approaching women in Japan, I failed constantly. I was brushed off, laughed at, or simply ignored. At first, it stung. But eventually, I saw those “failures” differently. They were training sessions, free lessons that built my mental toughness.
Later, when I began approaching women abroad, I faced the same pattern. My grammar wasn’t perfect, my accent was obvious, and my jokes sometimes fell flat. But I kept going. Because I failed hundreds of times, I eventually succeeded in building real confidence and real connections.
This applies everywhere. In business, your first idea might flop. In friendships, you might say the wrong thing. In fitness, you might struggle with a new exercise. But each failure is just another step forward, if you treat it that way.
Failure isn’t the end of the road—it is the road.
The Lesson
The next time you face rejection, don’t say, “I’m not good enough.” Instead, ask:
- Did I show up with presence?
- Was my body language open?
- Did I let my nerves rush me?
That reflection is where growth happens.
And when you hesitate, remember Jordan’s words:
“I’ve failed over and over and over again… and that is why I succeed.”
Your future success is directly proportional to the number of times you’re willing to fail today.
So stop avoiding failure. Start collecting it. Wear each rejection as a badge of honor. Because it means you’re playing the game—and the man who stays in the game long enough always wins.
If this resonates with you and you’d like to dive deeper into building confidence and connection, I share more lessons like this inside my free email series, The Global Attraction Blueprint. You can join here: The Global Attraction Blueprint.
